What a bereaucracy!

So I just helped my office mate smuggle a 200 pound -80 degree freezer into Duncan hall, then we stole some chairs from an unsuspecting graduate student. Seriously! Apparently, when you open a lab here at San Jose State, they tell you to list all the equipment you’re gonna need for the lab. Of course, you wouldn’t think to list obvious things like water or electricity or chairs. But you need to, or you don’t get them. Hence the chair theft I participated in earlier. You also have to mention things like “shelves for the freezer” and “drawers for the desk” or you don’t get those, either. So my office mate got a huge, stand up freezer with no shelves. What did they think he was gonna be freezing, hippos? So he asked the department for a new one. This was 5 months ago. They have yet to find one or the shelves for the old one. So he goes on Craig’s list and asks for a freezer. These things cost around $1000, by the way, which is why a new one is really a pipe dream. He gets a call this morning from a company wanting to get rid of their old $1000 freezer for free. Yay! So he’s about to pick it up when he finds out you are not allowed to go to an outside source for equipment, no matter how free it is. You’re actually supposed to file paperwork with the foundation and they will find you your equipment. Well, he tried that–no luck. So he went to get the freezer anyhow. This is where the smuggling part comes in. We lugged this thing to the staff elevator and tried to get it onto the 6th floor without attracting attention. Have you ever tried to move a freezer without attracting attention? It’s super hard. We actually had to pull the old “No hablo ingles” trick when a curious foundation secretary walked in. At least my office mate is Briziallian and can get away with it. I just hid behind the freezer door. So if it makes the news that there was an illegal freezer aquisition on campus, you never saw this, and you don’t know me. I don’t speak english. What the hell is wrong with this school?!?

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